I am a very white person; I’ve never really had a tan to get rid of. My ancestors were either a cave-dwelling or an as-yet-undiscovered subterrenean people. I was quite surprised to learn that people - many people - actually want to get rid of a tan. If I got one, I’d want to keep [...]
Author Archives: Adam Bjerk
Get Rid of Cradle Cap
July 9, 2009 – 5:43 pm
Cradle cap - or infantile seborrheic dermatitis - usually never bothers the baby who exhibits its scales and flakes. It does bother the parents. Moms and dads promptly seek to learn how to get rid of cradle cap because it turns a cute, crowd-pleasing baby into the subject of snarky asides. People will look at [...]
Get Rid of Kidney Stones
July 9, 2009 – 2:17 pm
As on the battlefield, even the toughest, most fearless individuals call out for their mother’s embrace when passing kidney stones. It is said that passing a rough stone is the closest men will come to understanding childbirth. Because of the legendary pain involved, most people who have experienced kidney stones are supremely motivated to prevent [...]
Get Rid of Water Weight
June 29, 2009 – 8:16 am
For the last few weeks, I’ve been on a mission to lose weight and reveal the Greek God that lies dormant underneath my flab. I’ve been eating less and exercising vigorously for at least an hour each day, and to my chagrin, the scale says I’ve gained five pounds. At first I was a bit [...]
Get Rid of Whiteflies
June 29, 2009 – 7:05 am
When I was very young, I remember going to old farms that belonged to the family. I loved playing with all the animals and the interesting bugs. I recall running into a large garden, sending a white storm of insects into the air. I laughed and made sure everyone saw what I had accomplished. My [...]
Get Rid of Water Retention
June 18, 2009 – 10:50 am
Our bodies are made up of 60% water, but when you are suffering from water retention, it feels like the remaining 40% is pure misery-flavored gelatine. It may seem like a pedestrain malady, but water retention is sometimes a symptom of a serious underlying illness, so it is important to consult your doctor. More commonly, [...]
Get Rid of Stains
June 18, 2009 – 10:12 am
Because of my absent-minded nature, I’ve had to get rid of an inordinate number of stains in my lifetime. The problem with stains is the number of variables involved in any mess. After making a fool of yourself, you need to consider the nature of the substance you mismanaged, as well as what kind of [...]
Get Rid of Redness
June 17, 2009 – 9:35 pm
I must hail from a cave-dwelling people, because I have always been very pale - especially in the winter. For many years, I also suffered from acne-induced redness. Pale and red - two tell-tale signs of terminal illness… I could have been on the cover of About to Die magazine. These days, I’d probably be [...]
Get Rid of Love Handles
April 17, 2009 – 7:52 pm
The armies of fitness gurus who insist that you can get rid of your love handles by doing crunches and side bends are crazy, and they don’t agree with your doctor. The vast majority of people with enough abdominal fat (especially around the obliques) to dub the flub “love handles” need to lose overall body [...]
Get Rid of Facial Hair
April 17, 2009 – 6:22 pm
Though all women will experience facial hair growth at some point in life, our popular, media-conditioned notions of feminine physical beauty require women to get rid of it. The good news is getting rid of facial hair isn’t all that difficult; however, as with any industry involving our insecurities, there are many scammers and schemers [...]
