The biological role of termites is pretty damn important. They break down an unbelievable amount of dead wood and organic matter. Because of this, they return all sorts of nutrients back to the soil and clear the ground for new plants to grow. Turns out, you don’t really give a shit. All you care about [...]
The very first time I can remember wanting to kill raccoons, I was out camping with a crew of friends from high school. It was about 2:00 a.m. and we were all sprawled out around the camp fire in our sleeping bags when we heard a rustling. When we looked up there was a frickin’ [...]
As a kid I used to catch flies, tear off their wings and throw their wingless bodies into the webs of spiders so I could watch them get wrapped up and eaten. Looking back at things like that makes me realize that deep, deep down, I truly am a bad person. Oh well. I’m over [...]
There are very few things in this world that can make you feel as crawly and itchy as when you know there are cat fleas wandering around your home. The constant paranoia this induces can be maddening. Every little tickle you feel is turned, in your brain, into a ten foot gorilla flea attempting to [...]
I don’t know what it is about an overabundance of legs that weirds people out. It’s inexplicable yet undeniable. The more legs a thing has the more people tend to dislike it. I am quite certain that it has been mathematically proven. Yup. There is a direct correlation between the number of legs a thing [...]
At some point, stray dogs in the yard are bound to be an issue for everyone everywhere. Whether you live in an apartment, a house, on a farm or in a box, it simply doesn’t matter. Sooner or later you’re gonna end up with someone else’s dog’s poop on your doorstep. I grew up in [...]
As a little tyke my parents were gone a lot which meant that my brothers and I were sometimes left to fend for ourselves when it came to meal time. I have one particular memory involving a nice big bowl of Cheerios with a little something extra. I remember thinking at the time that the [...]
My first experience with little black ants was back in the day when I was living in Bemidji. One evening I was watching my cats stare suspiciously at their food. Every now and then they would give it a tentative little bat with one of their paws. Upon closer inspection I found a hoard of [...]
In terms of appearance, nature played one cruel trick on the armadillo. While some people find nine-banded armadillos cute (myself included), most people seem to have a little bit better eyesight. Especially if they’ve got armadillos wreaking havoc on their yards. After a dillo enjoys a leisurely night of digging grubs out of your [...]
I remember back in the day digging around in the garden with my grandpa looking for something to bait our hooks with. Where we lived there was an abundance of white grubs. These were Grandpa’s favorite fish bait. If we did run across a regular old worm he’d tell us to “Put that damn thing [...]
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