Natasha is a very clever gal, and she wrote something up that might interest those of you who suffer from chronic drain clogs. I’ll let her tell you a little bit more about how to get rid of clogged drains when she finds the time. For those of you who think that the cause of my need to get rid of things is the fact that I’m a bachelor, let me tell you something. Natasha and I are a thing, you know, like a couple and stuff. She does her best to keep me in line, but the real reason I need to keep getting rid of things is because I’m a slob, much to her chagrin. She probably needs therapy because of it.

So, technically, I’m not a bachelor. I’m a man. That makes me incapable of thinking ahead and keeping things clean so that I don’t have to work harder later on. I was also a janitor for a while, so maybe this slobbery is simply my unconscious desire to once again hang with the 50-something bikers, cleaning university bathrooms for a living–but I doubt it. I’m pretty much just lazy–like a certain retro housewife I know who took her sweet time to respond to my earlier comments about her lifestyle.

I don’t need a housewife. I’ve got everything I need right here. (Yeah, that’s me doing the dishes while she takes pictures of flowers.) So, you see, house husbands aren’t just a myth. I may not be a man’s man, but I can do the dishes without the help of some dress with pretty hair, goddamnit.