Many people call them hemorrhoids, but I prefer to call them “piles”. The term just seems to be more befitting of an embarrassing affliction – a problem that perfectly exemplifies the human condition. Just take a look at the list of piles symptoms (left). Don’t feel embarrassed – nearly half the population will experience piles pain and irritation in their lifetime. People may lift something heavy, push too hard in the bathroom, or just inherit a tendency to develop piles. Many women experience piles during pregnancy. But you’re not here to dwell on the past. You can’t undo that horrible incident after the gas station burrito, nor would you avoid getting preggers with little Billy.
You’re here to learn how to get rid of piles. Below you’ll find the most popular home treatments for piles. On the right I’ve outlined the most commonly prescribed medication used to get rid of piles pain, irritation, and swelling. Usually, a combination of the two is all you’ll need. If your piles are more serious, you may require more intense medical treatment, which I’ve described on the bottom of the page.
Piles Treatment at Home
Get plenty of dietary fiber. If you want to be a real crap artist, then you have to get plenty of fiber. Fiber is famous for making our stools softer, but it also makes our stools larger and bulkier. Large, soft stools – the kind true turdsmiths work with – are easier to pass. Fiber won’t get rid of piles that you already have, but it can help them heal and prevent more from developing. Eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. Raspberries, pears, apples, whole-wheat pastas, bran muffins, split peas, lentils, lima beans, artichokes, and broccoli are all foods high in fiber.
Take frequent warm baths. Regular warm baths will soothe piles pain. It will also keep the area clean of fecal matter (dirty bum is a piles symptom), mucus, dried blood, and pus, which is vitally important. The latter three are mostly caused by larger internal piles. Many doctors recommend several hot “sitz baths” daily. With sitz baths, only your rectal area hangs in the water (or steam). They range from large I-obviously-own-a-sitz-bath contraptions to modest items that can be stowed discreetly. You can also just use your tub. Whatever you choose, stay away from fancy scents, bath beads, and bubbles.
Avoid toilet paper. When we are babies, our parents use wet wipes to clean our butts because they are more gentle and thorough than toilet tissue. As a wiping enthusiast, I ask, why do we ever make the switch? Well, to get rid of piles pain you need to revert back to those glory days of anal care. Wet wipes won’t further agitate piles and they more effectively remove fecal matter, mucus, blood, and pus (appetite suppressed). Most grocery and department stores carry at least one brand. You could also use baby wipes. Can’t find any? Wet your normal toilet tissue before sending it in…or buy a bidet.
Move around, get exercise. Extended periods of either sitting or standing can exacerbate existing piles and lead to new ones. If you work in a cubicle or your job requires sloth, stretch and walk to the water cooler now and then. If you do sit at a desk and have a lousy chair, get a cushion (donuts, however, can make piles worse). Exercise – even walking a mile each day – will lead to smoother, more regular bowel movements, which can help get rid of piles pain. Regular exercise can also help you lose weight; obesity is a major risk factor for the development of piles.
Strive for healthy bowel movements. You’re late for a meeting but you need to bust a grumpy. Going when you have the urge is very important. Don’t hold it in. The solution, however, is to be late, not to bite down on a stick to send one crashing into the porcelain. Let things come naturally, but don’t read a Russian novel either. Sitting and softly pushing for prolonged periods (more than 10 minutes) allows blood to pool and puts pressure on veins. Avoid foods that cause constipation (processed foods, ice cream, and red meat, anything dehydrating) and diarrhea.
Get your eight glasses of water daily. Among its many benefits, water is a natural stool softener. Using laxatives is not a good way to get rid of piles. Commercial laxatives are far too strong and usually result in projectile diarrhea – which just makes piles worse and can actually cause piles. If eating fiber and drinking water don’t quite cut it, try some prune juice or aloe vera juice, or add bran to some of your meals.Medical Treatments to Get Rid of Piles
Home treatments and OTC medications are usually all that is needed for piles; however, if you experience extreme pain, excessive bleeding, recurring piles, or just extreme annoyance, something more may be necessary.
Less invasive procedures. These generally involve cutting off the blood supply to the piles, shrinking piles, and/or creating scar tissue around piles to reduce the risk of more developing. It can be done with heat, electricity, even a laser. Oddly enough, the most popular method is done with rubber bands. A doctor ties the rubber band to the base of the offending pile. It eventually falls off, along with the rubber band, and ends up in your stool. I think it would be neat if you could get a discount for returning the rubber band.
Surgery. Sometimes piles don’t listen to reason. Surgery has a better success rate than the less invasive procedures, but it is also more painful and involves more recovery time. Don’t rush into any one treatment. Talk with your doctor (preferably a proctologist or specialist) about your options. Ask which they have performed most, how many, and what degree of success they have had.
