So I knew this sailor once . . . . No, really, I did. But no, his name wasn't Jerry. But he was pretty cool anyway. So, back in the fifties, this sailor decided to go out and celebrate his freedom as an American. He got drunk. He got tattooed. He woke up with a naked lady tattooed on his arm. And it didn't go over so well with his superior officers. That tattoo had to be removed, immediately, and all without the lovely technology we happily take for granted every day. And so his naked lady tattoo was immediately covered up with a black panther tattoo. After all, tattoo ink can only be covered up with an ink darker than the original, so the black was kind of a given. And panthers are pretty hip. And now you're wondering how many black panther tattoos have naked ladies hidden under them.
But not all of us have found such a quick and simple solution to an unwanted tattoo, regardless of the current hipness of the panther tattoo. But fear not! While they are considered permanent, there are a few things you can do to get rid of tattoos. From cover-ups to dermabrasion to high-tech lasers, there may be a way to remove your unwanted tattoo. But in most cases, tattoo removal will cost you, so understand that a tattoo, like marriage, is meant to be forever. And getting rid of a tattoo may be even more expensive, painful, and time consuming than that divorce.
Tattoo Removal
The best kind of tattoo removal is simply tattoo prevention. Sure, the naked angel holding a flaming tribal skull tattoo would look totally awesome on your throat. But you're a pediatrician. Maybe it isn't the best tattoo design, or perhaps the best tattoo placement, for you. Take your time. Think about how a particular tattoo design will affect your life, both positively and negatively. If you have doubts, don't get it and avoid all the pain and fuss and muss of attempting to remove a tattoo. Then you won't have to pay for even the initial tattoo. Even better? It's 100% free, and 100% painless. So, take your time and really consider whether or not you want that tattoo. Do you really need your recent BF's name inked on you? A custom coffee mug may do the trick instead.
Get rid of a tattoo by doing a tattoo cover-up. He dumped you. For your sister. Good. To heck with them both. But what about his name inked into your derriere? Just get it covered up. Take that booty of yours into your local tattoo artist's shop and let them know what you want. Perhaps you have a new tattoo design in mind. Perhaps not. But any good tattoo artist will let you know how and if your tattoo can be covered up with something else, so long as it is darker in color. As a result, it may end up being your not-so-favorite tribal tattoo, or dark-colored star tattoo, or whatever. But anything may be better than having Antonio see "Eustace" inked on your fanny.
Laser tattoo removal can get rid of tattoos. Laser tattoo removal uses, obviously, a laser. This laser zaps a particular wavelength that targets and breaks up the ink in your skin. The ink then fades away. While tattoo removal success depends on a lot of factors, such as type and color of ink used, depth of the ink, and your own skin, many laser tattoo removal places boast around a 90% success rate. It usually takes several, if not more, treatments. The procedure is known to be painful, more so than the tattoo process. It may also cause minor scarring or minor pigmentation loss. Or it may not get rid of all the ink. And it can do nothing to get rid of your trashy sister, either.
Use a combination cover-up/laser tattoo removal to get rid of your unwanted tattoo. If complete laser tattoo removal is out of the question due to cost or some such thing, then perhaps a combination of the two methods is your best answer. A couple of treatments of laser tattoo removal may not remove all of the ink from your skin, but it can lighten some of those colors, especially black. This is a good thing, since black is such a difficult color to cover up. So, with your "Eustace" tattoo faded, you can go back over it with that really pretty angel tattoo with "Grandmother" under it. She always preferred you over your sister.
Dermabrasion is another method of tattoo removal. Yes, "derma," as in skin, and "abrasion," as in abrasion. It's a little bit more sophisticated of a process than taking a belt sander to your skin, but a rotary tool will be used. If you decide that this is the method that best suits your desired results, then you must find a certified medical professional to do it. This medical professional will then use an abrasive device to remove a few layers of skin after, of course, it is sterilized and an anesthetic is applied to numb the skin. Scarring and discoloration of the area may occur. But sometimes the tattoo design is worse than the alternative. That's for you to decide.
Tattoo Removal Considerations
If you're thinking about tattoo removal, you have a lot to consider before you actually begin the process. Whatever you decide will take time, pain, money, pain, some side effects, pain, and may not completely get rid of your tattoo. But your tattoo removal procedure will otherwise be as unique as the tattoo you want to get rid of. Take the time to think about what's best for you, what you want from your skin. If you want clear skin to show off at your future wedding, perhaps laser tattoo removal will do it for you. If you have a poorly done tattoo and just want a well-done tattoo design over it, perhaps cover-up or a combo treatment is your best option.
Whatever you decide for whatever reason, visit a reputable tattoo artist or doctor for a consultation first. He or she will be able to give you information about cover-ups or removal or may suggest a simple touch-up to your tattoo. Maybe time or perspective is all you need. Maybe just a turtleneck. Or maybe, just maybe, you'll get back together with that Eustace guy. Who knows? But whatever you decide, about getting a tattoo, changing a tattoo, covering-up a tattoo, removing a tattoo, or getting back together with that turd-bag Eustace who wanted you to get his name inked on your bottom, you should spend quite a bit of time thinking about it beforehand.
