Cystitis is an inflammation of the urinary bladder. Some of its symptoms include painful urination, frequent urination, incontinence, malodorous and discolored urine, and a constant feeling of pressure in the pelvic region. Cystitis can be caused by many different factors, including bruising from sexual intercourse, bacterial and viral infections, reactions to medications, autoimmune disorders, and pelvic muscle problems. With a wide variety of causes, we are left with a wide variety of possible treatments. Some preventative steps can be taken at home, but most treatments will require the intervention of a physician.
Gout is a form of arthritis in which uric acid builds up in the body, forms jagged, needle-like crystals, and then lodges in a joint. As you can imagine, this leads to severe pain and general grumpiness. The uric acid crystals almost always form in the large joint of the big toe, though it can show up in knees, elbows, feet, wrists, and fingers. Who gets gout? Individuals who either produce too much or excrete too little uric acid (part genetics, part lifestyle, part mystery). Most of the time, it's middle-aged men and post-menopausal women. This is why gout – a disease that requires sufferers to quit drinking beer – is so terrible. Whom, merciful god, was beer created for if not these very people?
When recalling past misadventures in passing kidney stones, people will often say things like, "I'd prefer being drawn and quartered with a spoon" or "If I could have moved, it would have been off the balcony." Like hurricanes and earthquakes, kidney stones cause us to question the existence of any benevolent force in the universe. The symptoms of kidney stones are in some cases minimal; you may not know you have a rock lodged in your kidney until you go in to the doctor because of bloody urine or something unrelated. Most often, however, kidney stones earn their reputation. You may experience tremendous, pray-for-the-first-time pain in your side, back or abdomen. This pain generally radiates toward the groin and genitals, and it usually comes in waves that can last up to an hour. These waves can get worse as the stone moves towards the exit. It may take up to four unpleasant weeks for the stone to pass from the kidney, through the ureter, and out the urethra. Other symptoms include nausea and vomiting, painful urination, and/or urine that smells like decomposing bodies.